Responsibilities

There are definitely days where I sit on my make believe raft and float down my favorite imaginary lazy river. For an entire day. 👙😴

On instagram, you can go to the 🔎search and watch a bunch of strangers on Insta-Stories. I watched this one girl this morning who was making her coffee. Didn’t show her face. So as I watched her make coffee for 5 min, she shared a story that was so my life. 

She shared that she is a “homemaker” and her husband works in finance. 

I thought, okay I’m listening. 🧐

She had a list of to-do’s, just like the rest of us. 

Laundry, make beds, clean bathrooms, take kids to school, pick up kids, pick up messes, do homework- etc. 

The only thing she accomplished was taking & picking up for school. 

By the time her husband came home from work, she was still watching tv. She hadn’t even thought about making dinner. As she sat on the couch, she heard the pantry door open, and then heard a pan gently land on the stove. (Almost tears at this point😢) What’s worse is when you hear a bag of cereal!!! 👩🏽‍💻😭

He didn’t make a big stink about it. But she felt guilty the second she heard that pantry open. 

Anyway, it hit me in a way I needed so bad. So as I deflate my pretend river raft, I’m putting a list together of things I want to do today. 

I did all of them, including making dinner. Not my usual lazy way. I bought actual, big girl ingredients today. I learned how to use a pressure cooker, and had to research how to even prep a whole chicken. Wash it? Skin it? Like wtf do I do with this thing. 😯

Well I did it. 

I have been in a funky up & down kind of place (like you guys don’t know that 👀). For a grown as woman like myself to feel so up & down over one devastating day, IS okay. What isn’t okay is to forget the woman my parents raised me to be. My mom used to pick up the house that her wild, crazy ass 6 kids DESTROYED DAILY, and a full dinner for 8 was on the table every night at 5:30pm. Little House On The Prairie at 6. They raised me to be thoughtful of every breathing human being I come in contact with, and to treat my daily responsibilities with respect. Because they are mine. Take care of the people in my home, because now I’m in the same place my parents once were. (Minus 5 ppl) But the people in THIS home- they’re mine. ❤️

Cameron works an awful lot, and there are weeks we see him a couple of hours. But I try not to say anything. I realize it isn’t much easier on his end. That’s my excuse for rarely making meals. He usually eats all 3 meals at work. But that’s because I get down on myself when I burn the food I cook for him. So it’s always been rare to have food ready. 

I felt so good after watching that girl make her coffee. I understood her guilt, and was grateful to know I’m not alone. 

My responsibilities at home ARE important to me, and as much as I wanna scream to myself to get my hustle back, I can’t. 

Sorry to take a churchy turn here, but I know MY Heavenly Father has much bigger things in store for me. He knows my heartache. He knows Keisha’s, Michaels, my entire family. He knows, and as much as I doubt that some days, I truly can’t deny it. Sometimes He leads us down a road that seems less traveled, but it was clear today that mine has company.